pimlico's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the mystery of a speeding car I want an assistant. Someone to manage to my life for me. Someone to assist me with major decisions (or even make them for me), manage my finances and sort out my unruly hair. They could do all the hard stuff and I could sit around reading books and eating a variety of cheeses. The do-I-move-or-not-stress is making me feel ill. I think I may have lost some weight because of it, even though I've been eating the same amount as usual. I'm thinking that I should market the "Panic Yourself Slim" diet as a novel way to loose weight. Stress can affect some people's metabolism. Hence the success of diets in crap "Factual" TV programmes. People on You Are What You Eat and shows like that loose stones, but maybe it's nothing to do with the mung beans their forcefed and everything to do with fear. After the My Chemical Romance/Bugsy Malone thing from yesterday I've remembered another unlikely soundalike - Holidays in the Sun by The Sex Pistols and the theme tune from 80s kid's gameshow Funhouse. Funhouse (so punk rock it was named after an Iggy and the Stooges song. Rawk!) was your typical day-glo 80s quiz show, complete with gunge, go-karts and ghettoblasters as prizes. Anyway, it was presented by mulleted DJ-Twat Pat Sharp and co-presented, sort of, by the twins Melanie and Martina, who had little to do aside from dress as cheerleaders and be chirpy. They were probably responsible for some of the viewers - Dads and the odd teenage boy who claimed he only watched it "for the chicks". The show ran inexplicably for years and years. Eventually, Sharp lost the mullet (perhaps leading to a Samson like loss of DJ power) and the twins pom-pom waving got a bit lacklustre as though they were trying to pretend they didn't look like Mums cheering on their offspring on sports day. All 3 carried on grimly running their little quiz, hoping that the studio lights wouldn't melt their make up (thus exposing their crow's feet) and praying that no contestant would ever sustain the kind of injuries that lead to lawsuits. In the end, they axed it. I have no idea what happened to M and M - perhaps one of them moved Up North and gave birth to the twins on Big Brother. Sharp continued his twattery on a smaller scale. Anyway, throughout it's lengthy history the show had a cathy theme tune which went: I have yet to encounter anyone else who thinks the two tunes sound anything like one another. But they do. 1:19 p.m. - 2007-08-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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