pimlico's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- we are the goon squad and we're coming to town. beep beep! I have to say, I'm a little shocked that Diaryland is actually letting me add an entry today, because I'd almost got used to it being broken. Thanks to the high pollen count and the rain over the bank holiday weekend, my sinuses appear to be full of cabbage soup. My head hurts whenever I move my eyebrows. Ooow. I'm meant to be doing stand-up again tonight, but leaving aside the fact that I feel ropey, there's every chance that it may be cancelled. I just got an email from one of the online fashion stores which I occasionaly buy stuff from. It says: Manicure? I've only ever had one once. And that was years ago. I'd quite like to have another but never really get round to it. Plus, there are other things to spend money on, like books and pasta sauce. At the moment my nails are all uneven. Some are bitten to fuck, others long enough to gouge out eyeballs. But based on what this email tells me, it's obvious that I am a complete failure as a lady and need to get my eyes propped open Clockwork Orange style so I can read all the copies of Vogue from the past 5 years and watch the collected films of Lindsay Lohan in an effort to make me more girly. Or it's just possible that this was written by a twat. As to what's up to date in "world fashion" (and presumably the fashionable ladies of Burkina Faso and Bolivia are taking notes. Of course, fasionistas in Cambodia, Vietnam and Honduras have an unfair advantage given as how they make the stuff and so get to see it before anyone else), it would appear to involve tiny shorts, bingo wing flashing vests and smocks that resemble maternity wear from 1973. In an effort to entice customers, the email have includes a couple of pictures of Paris Hilton wearing the expensive designer versions of the similar garments and looking all trendy and stuff. I expect the website will be flogging prison uniforms by the end of the week. 1:12 p.m. - 2007-05-08 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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